Author: nlondon36

When I saw the small ad for a hospice social worker I was zapped, the current straight from the hand of the merciful goddess into my broken heart. It was the year after my mother’s suicide, and my intuition was screaming that only the dying could bring me out of the land of shadow, back … Continue reading soft candies and hard whiskey

My warrior princess found me in my pajamas, under the covers, watching bad TV. Go away, I said. I’ve got a few health challenges I don’t want to talk about and honestly, you’re standing in my light. She stretched out next to me, took a pillow without asking.  Tired? She asked, flipping the channel to … Continue reading weary warrior

 By the time I was a few years out of diapers, I was addicted to sugar. It was the only way I knew how to regulate my nervous system before I even knew I had a nervous system that needed regulating. All I knew was that the adults were unpredictable, sometimes smiling, sometimes raging, and … Continue reading addictions

Knock knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Hey, don’t cry, honey. It’s not so bad. Really, everything will work out for the best. You’ll see.  Is she batshit crazy? I’m dying here, drowning in grief, weeping right in front of her and she’s telling me it’s not so bad? I’m sad. I’m sorrowing. I’m grieving. … Continue reading knock knock joke

I wish someone had told me that time is elastic, a trickster, flowing as slow as the muddy stretches of the Chama River on a hot August day, then a raging whitewater avalanche of current tumbling at torrential speed over rocks. I wish someone had told me that all those years I was raising a … Continue reading I wish someone had told me