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Beauty. She’s so beautiful they’d say to the mother, what a lucky mama to have such a beautiful baby. But then baby grew up grew confused, angry at not being seen for who she was. Grew fat. You could be so beautiful if only you’d lose some weight, the aunties said. She used to be … Continue reading hunger

I have been thinking about the small ocean town my brother retreated to when he was broken in body and soul. Somewhere along the Alabama coast…I never knew where exactly because he never wanted me to find him. Thinking about him and his beach town led like a treasure map he had bequeathed me all … Continue reading sand and fog

I have written about my legs so often that I think it’s time to name them: Gypsy and Thief. This is what I called them because, like all four of my Russian grandparents, they walked out of Africa, crossed deserts and seas, stole the fat dates that hung down from trees like ripe brown nipples, … Continue reading Gypsy and Thief

I’ve been addicted to various substances, some more benign than others. As a child I was addicted to sugar, the only way I knew to regulate my nervous system. The adults were unpredictable – sometimes smiling sometimes raging and I did not know which face I’d meet when I entered a room. Sugar calmed me, … Continue reading addictions

Your father is dead, she said. There was a commotion in the next room, my mother wailing, the aunts and uncles wailing. Cigar smoke. Tires screeching outside on wet pavement. She came and sat on the edge of my bed. So quiet. So still, dressed all in grey. They’ll lie to you for a bit, … Continue reading the six sisters